I am so tired. Physically and mentally drained. For someone who has extreme anxiety and ADHD (a recent diagnosis), my job is the most stressful thing I could have chosen to do with my time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. I love that I make people smile. I love that I get to hand them a cup full of sunshine. I love that I get to make their day. I am absolutely obsessed with coffee and what it does for me, so how could I not love doing that exact thing for others?
Even though I love my job, the stress is, at times, more than I can handle. Like this weekend, when we are crazy, crazy busy. I am struggling more and more to find a healthy way to cope. I’m on medication that is supposedly going to help. Ha. My psychiatrist is a liar. It’s NOT helping. I am not any less anxious or less depressed. Sigh … doctors.
I mean, my job is one thing. I do that everyday, but it’s the unexpected that gets me. For instance, tomorrow, I have to be at the psychiatrist’s office for “group therapy”. What the heck is “group therapy”, anyhow? I’m going to be stuck in a room with a bunch of strangers for an hour … to … work on my anxiety? The thought makes my hair stand on end. How will I ever manage?
Oh my brain. How I wish I had normal mental processing. Then, none of this would bother me, and I would be free.