As I sit here in front of my computer, I’m contemplating what it is to be a female aspie. I struggle. I struggle with so many things: communication, socialization, and body language. I misunderstand social situations so often, it’s almost a running joke. I don’t understand sarcasm, even though I use it myself at times. Some days are entirely too overwhelming for my overly thinky mind. I am often completely exhausted at the end of the day.
Today was a particularly exhausting day. Anxiety-ridden and exhausting. I did not sleep well last night. My small son missed his first nap, so he began his day super tired (and thereby, upsetting my routine). My fiance, our son, and I went out for a bit to go grocery shopping and couldn’t because his paycheck wasn’t deposited as it should have been. I was given some unsolicited advice (yay me). I accidentally woke my small son up during his second nap, and as a result, he was clingy (physical touch, in and of itself, is exhausting). I recently travelled [to Canada] to be with my fiance and the airline lost my luggage; today, I finally received it. Oh yeah, and I forgot to eat lunch, which bottomed out my blood sugar.
Yes, I struggle with a great many things, however, you will never hear me say that I suffer from Aspergers. I don’t suffer. Not really. Being an Aspie helps me to be sensitive and empathetic to others (even though some professionals would argue that people with Aspergers lack empathy). I am intelligent and talented. I love and am loved. And even though I am often distracted by simple things, I can remain hyper-focused on one task for long periods of time. I have many hobbies.
Sometimes, it’s hard being me, but I love my life.