Day Five.

Today is just as dreary outdoors as it is inside my head. Here, let me explain. I scheduled an appointment with my therapist two days ago for today. Circumstances were what I would consider less-than-ideal for transportation (although this city has a tremendous public transportation service). Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. I cancelled my appointment and opted to reschedule. If that’s not bad enough, I used my four month old son as an excuse. I feel terrible.

So, as I am feeling miserable about myself, and as I am beating myself up, I am also watching TLC’s Long Island Medium. Suddenly, I realized just how blessed I was. Most of my loved ones are still living. I can talk to them whenever I want. I can see them whenever I want. I can hug and squeeze and hold them whenever I want. I AM blessed. After I had my revelation, I picked up my young son and told him how much I love him and how thankful I am that he is here.

I mean, I feel like I should be writing about my 21-Day Kickstart here. About my diet/lifestyle change and how it is impacting my anxiety and mental health. But, really and truly, this day is part of my journey to healthfulness, too. I am realizing that the down days are just as important as the up ones (maybe more so). Here’s to many more positive thoughts and actions! Here’s to a better me!

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