Being a mom with anxiety issues is SO much fun I may patent it. Oh, but wait! I forgot …. according to my new therapist, having extreme anxiety is normal. I hope reality slaps her in the face.
Okay, let me start at the beginning. I have extreme social anxiety and general anxiety. My anxiety is so bad that I have regular anxiety attacks. The funny part is, I had no idea that what I was experiencing was actually anxiety attacks till I went to see her. No wonder I always withdraw from society or listen to music … they’re my coping mechanisms. I just thought I was super overwhelmed!
Anywho, I recently decided to attempt to receive some help with dealing with my extreme anxiety. I am so proud of myself for even going through with the phone call (I almost hung up when calling to make the appointment). The therapist sounded so kind and compassionate on the phone that I was immediately put at ease. I felt as though I had found someone that could truly help me.
At the first appointment, the therapist went over the assessment. I told her how anxious I was on a daily basis, how I dealt with depression, and how worry and anxiety ruled my life. And, she told me that I was “normal”, that I had a “normal brain”. Granted, everyone deals with anxiety and everyone deals with depression at some point but not everyone deals with it to the extreme. I happen to be one that does.
When I think back on the initial interview, I just chuckle to myself. It is impossible for anyone person to know and understand what another is going through within an hour and half. It is impossible to make a true assessment of a person’s inner workings based upon a few questions and answers. I. Am. An. Anxious. Person. I don’t need you to tell me I’m normal, especially when I know for a fact that I am not. I need for you to teach me how to deal, how to cope. My anxiety is not normal and neither is the way I deal with it.
Just as a therapist cannot judge a patient’s condition based on one hour and half, I cannot base my opinion of that therapist on one visit. I will continue to go, even if only to find new ways of coping with my “normal” anxiety. Who knows? Maybe she will turn out to be a great therapist and offer new insights and coping tools. One can only hope.